When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
