I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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