Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
