My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Im part way to drunk.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
