This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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