Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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