We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
