Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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