Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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