even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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