I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
