Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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