it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
