Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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