That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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