Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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