worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
