how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
