I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize