I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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