im drinking this country out of the recession.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
