Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize