seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
