Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
