this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
