I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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