hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
