We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize