im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
