They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
