He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
