you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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