So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
