We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
