his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
