Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
