Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
can u get pink eye on your cock?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
