do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
