My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
