I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
50% drunk capacity currently
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
