When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
