Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
