She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
