If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
