Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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