Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
