And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
this will be a night to untag.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
