i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
