Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Pooping to opera.
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