Whod you bang
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
