a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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