4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Where is the hickey?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
