She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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