Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize