They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
