Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
