yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
