Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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