We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
