Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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