Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
