I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
