oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
