Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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